Life Update !!

4/02/2026

TW: Addiction (Alcohol + Drugs)

Hey y'all!

As I've said in the last entry, Ill try to be a bit more serious now on just to practice writing in general and ill be writing a lot of these as life updates :p. Anyways, life so far has felt so quiet compared to the last couple days (see Ammonia, Snow, and Tears) which honestly makes me so happy I get at least some time of peace. So much of my time has been shoveling everything hurts all the time but at least most of my time is at home due to me not having midterms and snow days. However, so much of my days now are filled of research for some essays, my chem internal assessment, higher level essay, and some upcoming maths and cybersecurity competitions so I have a lot less time for anything. So little time to the point that my life feels like a loop of chasing one deadline after another.

I guess one of my biggest problems nowadays is my tendency for addiction. I've always ended up addicted to things from just YouTube to alcohol and smoking every couple years. Right now my only real "addictions" is dopamine sources like social media and YouTube which I've been trying to take a handle of recently. These recent attempts on stopping this endless loop of rotting on social media had been partially motivated by this and this jvscholz video on breaking the cycle of doom scrolling and replacing it with books and actual productivity. This was also motivated by some progress on my march towards control of my life in other aspects (120 days sober, 120 days cig and weed free, less doom scrolling, etc). These attempts has honestly helped me experience life again with these past couple months being some of the best I remember. Letting me focus more on my relationships in life and school in general which is fun.

Speaking of school, I've just came back to school for the first time in a week and started Calculus today. Calculus has been pretty easy so far being in the pre-calc portion of the curriculum. Additionally, the next 3 months of physics looks fun as my units will be thermodynamics, rigid body mechanics, and Galilean + special relativity. It feels so weird to be at this point where almost all my required assignments are done and all I have left is exams before I graduate highschool since i remember as a kid thinking I'll never get to the point where I am at now. I remember tearing up seeing my own grad photo, seeing myself in the gown I've always thought of as unattainable and unthinkable, seeing myself "make it" just filled me with so many emotions.

Overall, life has been nice, I'll be trying to update this site and fleshing out everything. I'll also keep on writing my essays (I just need to get some reading done :) ). Ill start putting more media stuff here at the end so yeah :3.

Music: Manila by Hotdog

Images:

my chem IA research T_T